Haste is in the Devil

That's how an Israeli camp-guide-cum-storyteller put it to the 17 year-olds on a Negev field trip. My high school class secured accommodations in a Bedouin tent and over some oversized dates and sweet tea, the guide regaled us with a less-than-thrilling tale of a Bedouin wife, who'd waited long for a husband's return. I don't know where the husband went to, but I'm sure it was important. Anyway, years passed, and the wife stayed, loyal. Till the day hubby was sighted suddenly. His woman couldn't contain her patience: she ran. And then fell into a crevice and died. So, the Bedouins figure haste is in the devil. We say haste make waste, because it rhymes. In any event, this principle is common in prepping a bankruptcy, the old BK.

As the Rolling Stones say on a non-hit track from the LP It's Only Rock and Roll: Time Waits for No One. They should know: time brings moss and they're rolling stones. Thus, in BK, there's a client tendency to rush. But rush may effect a petition that's mush. A client may pressure counsel to file today! But the attorney cannot conscionably file with stale or partial data.

Before filing, I task the client with giving info--lots of it, and I do so under penalty of client disgruntlement. I cannot gratify impatience by filing a half-assed petition. I nag because I care. Due diligence is done so the client will be non-disgruntled (gruntled?) after filing. That's what matters.

Beyond the admirable principle of avoiding half-assedness, the debtor's attorney is bound by federal law not to leave a t uncrossed, nor an i undotted. She has an affirmative duty under 11 United States Code § 707(b)(4)(D) to inquire into the debtor's financial affairs. A bankruptcy petition is a client's declaration under penalty of perjury, which counsel must compare against objective documentation and public record.

Thus, preppin a BK is a cooperative routine. Wheels should squeak rather than say nothing at all, but they must also roll with the process. It ain't becoming to file like you fry a patty at Mickey-D's. Proper BK is Inn-n-Out Burger: takes a wee bit longer, but it tastes Good.

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I never waited on a deserter spouse in the desert, but I did learn my lesson on haste 20 years ago. I got disgruntled with my orthodontist and pressured him to remove my bottom-teeth braces. I had the confidence of youth and must have made a very compelling (or annoying) argument. So he removed em; yet, they hadn't finished their job. So while my smile's still pretty good, it's not perfect.

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